Kriti Mehrotra
Directed by Josh Allott, Netflix’s ‘Should I Marry a Murderer’ is a complex documentary series owing to the way it highlights how vulnerability can lead to chaos. After all, when forensic pathologist Dr. Caroline Muirhead learned her fiancé had killed someone, she went to the police, but still stayed with him, not only to gather more evidence but because she wanted to. She admits it was a bit of a toxic cycle, but she eventually did the right thing and somehow managed to find courage even on her darkest days.
Caroline Muirhead Has Always Strived to Have a Career and a Family Life
As the only daughter of Margaret and Stephen Muirhead, Caroline Muirhead grew up surrounded by unwavering affection, care, love, and support. Therefore, with her parents as her idols, she wanted to follow in their footsteps and one day juggle both a career and a family with an equal partner. She never wanted to be taken care of in a financial sense, but she did desire to be someone’s first choice and someone’s love, all the while thriving in her profession. So, when she got into a relationship with a man who fit her checklist and seemed to desire the same things as her at the age of 20, during her final year of medical school, she was over the moon.
Caroline admittedly spent almost 8 years with that person under the belief that he wanted to get married one day and have children with her, but their romance crashed and burned. According to Caroline in the aforementioned series, she was betrayed and lied to in arguably the worst of ways, so she was shattered, but she still kept her head held high because she knew she brought a lot to the table. The young woman had become a forensic pathologist for NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde, where her role primarily involved performing autopsies and post-mortem examinations across the region. It was difficult and draining in a sense since she was surrounded by death at almost all times, but she loved it since it was observation-based, methodical, and mentally stimulating. With a photographic memory, she needed these aspects, and it made her a specialist in every sense of the term.
Caroline Muirhead Had a Whirlwind Romance That Went Incredibly Wrong
It was mere months after Caroline’s breakup with her ex-boyfriend that she downloaded Tinder in the hopes of getting back into the dating scene and finding her forever love soon. She came across some okay men before suddenly finding the manliest of men – her type – on there in the form of Alexander “Sandy” McKellar, a farmer/hunter from the Highlands. Attracted and curious, she sent him her number as soon as she realized they matched, and he called her without hesitation before asking if they could meet sometime soon. She agreed to drive over an hour and a half to the Auch Estates, where he lived and worked the next day, even though her friends told her it wasn’t a good idea.
Little did Caroline know she would end up having a great time, which would evolve into another meeting the next day, and then a whirlwind romance. Since it was a long drive, she ended up staying with him for the entire weekend, which led to her meeting his friends, his family, and experiencing the Highlands the way he did. The couple ended up falling head over heels in love in this way, with Caroline especially appreciating how he not only let her be herself in every way but also liked to show her off. She had felt as if she wasn’t enough in her previous relationship and had even been “banned” from singing in the car, so Sandy embracing and adoring those parts of her made her feel as if she was on cloud 9.
According to Caroline’s own account in the show, Sandy’s twin brother Robert McKellar had taken her to the side one evening and asked her to be careful because his brother was “right in the head. He’s not well,” but she ignored the red flags. She initially almost refused to notice how his behavior would change after he got drunk or how he loved to talk about hunting with her, expressing how they both dealt with death on a daily basis, and was glad he could discuss it with her. Then, one evening in November 2020, less than 2 months after they met, they started talking about marriage and became engaged. They even joyously shared the news with friends and family before planning to spend Christmas at her parents’, so she could introduce him to them, only for Sandy to then confess he had killed a man 3 years prior.
Caroline Muirhead Struggled to Let Her Love Go
Caroline had told Sandy during a drive after their engagement that if he had any secrets to share, he should do it now because she wanted to start a new chapter of their lives with complete transparency. That’s when Sandy shared that he and Robert had been drinking one evening in September 2017 after a hunting trip, but then they decided to drive back over the estate and were going over the legal limit. He then claimed a big truck came at them with full beams on and blinded him, resulting in them hitting a cyclist, adding, “he was hit at high speed. There’s no way he was alive.” As per Caroline, he then said the brother buried him on the estate in fear, and that’s where he remains – the victim was Anthony “Tony” Parsons, a former Navy officer, a cancer survivor, and a family man who was cycling across the country for charity.
Caroline believed the matter was an accident, so she calmed her fiancé down before continuing on with their plans to spend the night together, but she knew she had to go to the police. She couldn’t bring herself to do so in the ensuing few days because she knew everthing would change the moment she revealed the truth, so she did her best to continue leading a normal life. It was after Christmas dinner with her family, where her parents loved him and were happy for their little girl, that she broke down, telling them what had happened before calling the police for their aid. Caroline relayed everything she had been told, from the accident to the reason he hadn’t called for emergency services to his recent request to help him move the remains, leading officials to launch an investigation.
However, since authorities lacked one crucial piece of evidence, Anthony’s remains, the pathologist took it upon herself to figure out a way to mark the area where he was buried. She was successful and even secretly crushed a sugar-free Red Bull can into the ground to mark the site, before later sending police the live location of the brothers for their arrest. They were arrested in the early hours of December 30, 2020, but released 2 days later on bail owing to a lack of evidence; they never suspected Caroline was the one who went to the police. Therefore, although she initially lived in fear of retaliation, once Sandy reached out to her, she ended up drifting back towards him. The brothers even moved into her flat in Glasgow, which is where Robert reportedly shared with her that Anthony was initially alive and they changed cars and clothes before going back to retrieve his body and then buried him.
Caroline Muirhead Led a Double Life For Months to Ensure Justice Was Served
Caroline secretly even recorded some conversations with Sandy, all the while gradually falling into a habit of alcohol and substance consumption to deal with the storm in her mind. She knew her fiancé was in the wrong, but she still cared for the man she believed he was, which continued even after it came to light that she was the one who had gone to the police. By this point in the fall of 2021, Anthony’s remains had been recovered, and Caroline was granted special leave from her job as his autopsy was to be conducted at her place of employment. When Sandy learned officials found the site through a sugar-free Red Bull can, he knew his fiancée was responsible since she was the only one in their lives who drank it, but their romance still continued. In fact, she even gave up her flat and moved into the Highlands with him as investigations continued, admittedly living in a bubble of toxic love and substance abuse.
It was only when Caroline realized Sandy had no remorse for his actions while she was secretly recording another conversation that led her to call things off and move back in with her parents. Her parents had already asked officers for professional help for their little girl, but it wasn’t until she asked that she was told she should have been working with the Victim Support Scotland organization from the get-go. She should have been protected under the Vulnerable Witnesses (Scotland) Act 2004 and 2014 Act, but she wasn’t, and it had led her to spiral. In fact, she subsequently continued to abuse cocaine and even spiraled on the day she was to testify against the brothers in court in 2023.
She left her parents’ home for court but then went to the Highlands instead, determined to find some concrete physical evidence, as she didn’t think just her testimony would be enough. She knew the cross-examination could hurt the case because she had continued her relationship with Sandy and had recently abused substances. Caroline was subsequently arrested on the charge of contempt of court, but because the brothers pleaded guilty the next day, the charge against her was dismissed. She then realized how far she had fallen, tried to get back, and attended their sentencing with the belief they were remorseless, as they could have saved Anthony by just asking for help.
Caroline Muirhead Currently Leads a Quiet Life on the Scottish Coastline
While Caroline was once a forensic pathologist based out of Glasgow, she has since relocated to the coastal area to start afresh – she hopes to leave the memories of the past in the Highlands. According to her own accounts, she has since gotten clean and continues to see a psychiatrist on a regular basis to help process her trauma of being in love with a killer, the undercover investigation, and the legal proceedings. The fact that she had lost trust in authorities, owing to the fact that she wasn’t given aid, also affected her a lot, driving her to file numerous complaints against them, but to no avail.
Therefore, today, it appears as if Caroline is focusing on her own growth and figuring out what peace truly means to her. It’s unclear whether she has since returned to work as a medical professional, but we do know her relationship with her family has improved significantly over the years. Moreover, having learned to love herself with all her experiences, mistakes, passions, and quirks, she has also found love again with someone new. She described him as “incredibly kind” in the show, which is what she deserves, so we can’t wait to see what’s in the cards for her next.
Read More: Where Are Caroline Flack’s Siblings Now?
