Aahana Swrup
The FX black comedy show ‘Dying For Sex’ follows a woman down a particularly kinky rabbit hole as she undertakes a crucial journey in the face of a terminal diagnosis. When Molly learns that her breast cancer has returned with a stage four diagnosis, her world rapidly begins to collapse around her. In the face of her looming death, her unhappy marriage remains the center of her regret, which compels the woman to leave her husband of 15 years. In the aftermath, she deals with the weight of her medical care with her best friend, Nikki, there for her every step of the way. Additionally, Molly also sets up one crucial goal for herself: to explore her sexuality and have at least one orgasm with another person. Consequently, in the last few months of her life, the woman finds new facets of herself, faces the traumas of her past, and grieves in her own unique way. SPOILERS AHEAD!
Dying For Sex Recap
Ever since Molly’s initial breast cancer diagnosis, her sex life with her husband, Steve, had effectively become non-existent. Therefore, now, years down the line, she finds herself in couple’s counseling with him, which doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Naturally, things get even worse when she gets a call from her doctor, who informs her that her cancer has returned. Not only that, but it has already metastasized into her bones, putting her life on a short clock. In light of this information, Molly becomes painfully aware that somewhere down the line, Steve has only begun to see her as a patient whom he has to nurse. Furthermore, a session with the resident mental health specialist at the hospital, Sonya, helps her realize that she’s eager to explore her sexuality before her imminent death.
As such, Molly tries to get some distance from her husband by opting to go through the medical madness of the coming day with her best friend, Nikki. Things are a bit disastrous in the beginning—thanks to Nikki’s penchant for disorder and Molly’s own trepidatious and risky foray into online sex with strangers. Yet, the woman remains firm in her decision to part ways with Steve, even if without a proper divorce. On the other hand, Nikki has a tough time dealing with her best friend’s fatal illness. Still, she’s eager to soak up every moment she can with the other woman, even when it involves running circles around the hospital. However, despite the newly single woman’s attempts to immerse herself in the world of kinky sex with strangers, her ongoing treatment leaves her with psychological hangups that ruin her best-laid plans.
Eventually, Molly finds herself in a titillating encounter with her next-door Neighbor, who gets hot and heavy at the idea of being dommed by her. Nonetheless, it only lasts so long before a medical emergency takes her away to the hospital—to get a metal rod installed in her hip and upper thigh. Still, in the aftermath, Molly makes some progress in her sex-quest after Sonya invites her and Nikki out to a potluck-like kink night event. Once the former witnesses a BDSM scene between two people, she realizes her truest desires lay in dominating her sexual partners. Although there’s an initial learning curve, Molly soon becomes proficient at sub/dom dynamics, juggling multiple partners, including the Neighbor Guy. In time, her relationship with him deepens, especially once he inadvertently learns about her cancer.
Even so, Molly is held back in seeking her own pleasure with him due to persisting trauma from when she was sexually assaulted at a young age. Nevertheless, as the months pass and her cancer journey rounds out to a year, she makes the decision to attempt a shared orgasm with Neighbor. Yet, the timing is hardly in her favor, especially since a new development compels her doctor, Jerry Pankowitz, to order tests to check if the cancer has spread into her spine. Ultimately, this brings many complications for the pair of best friends, but they manage to see them through. In the end, the night before her PET scan, Molly and Neighbor have sex in her hospital room—and she finally achieves her goal. However, in the aftermath, she compels her partner, whom she’s grown to love, to walk out on her life before sunrise.
Dying For Sex Ending: Why Doesn’t Molly Want Neighbor to Stay With Her?
When Molly initially embarks on this venture of discovering her sexual preferences and kinks, she isn’t doing it because she’s searching for love. All her life, she has had a complicated relationship with sex. At the age of seven, her mother’s boyfriend assaulted her, which left a lasting scar on her psyche. Throughout the 15 years—and more—that she’s been with Steve, it’s easy to disassociate and disconnect, especially given the passionless nature of their relationship. Nonetheless, after her initial cancer treatment, a switch goes off for Molly. Whether it is a reaction to the meds on her libido or something else, she becomes hornier than ever while her husband refuses to perceive her as someone he can have a sexual relationship with.
For the same reason, once the cancer returns and Molly realizes she might die without ever fully understanding her relationship with sex and pleasure, she decides to take a different approach. Somehow, in a twist of fate, this brings her to Neighbor. Although their relationship begins as purely sexual, it soon develops into something more. Despite their unconventional romance, the two find what they’re looking for in each other. Neighbor’s last relationship—which went from infidelity to an open relationship to something that gave him a weird STD—gave him some trust issues and abject loneliness. With Molly, he finds the pleasant company that soothes that pain. Similarly, the power and desirability that Molly finds in him make her feel seen and understood in a unique way.
Therefore, Molly decides to trust him with her body, eager to share an orgasm with him, something she hasn’t been able to do with anyone. The night is rocky at times, with some interruptions and fallbacks. Nonetheless, the couple ultimately find the peak they have been searching for with each other. Yet, in the aftermath, even while Neighbor remains willing to stay by her side for the weeks or months that she has left to live, Molly turns down his offer. In fact, she asks the man to leave because she doesn’t wish to die with him by her side. Earlier, when the woman had invoked this same sentiment toward Steve, it had been an expression of the disconnect she feels with him. Steve doesn’t understand her, doesn’t see her needs, and only views her through the lens of her illness.
Things couldn’t be more different with Neighbor, who has perhaps seen a part of Molly that no one else has. She’s able to be vulnerable with him, surrendering her pleasure to him without holding back or seeking complete control. However, the novelty of their connection is the same thing that compels Molly to grow protective of this image of herself in Neighbor’s mind. She knows she’ll exit his life one way or another in a matter of months. She doesn’t want them to part ways with him harboring the last memory of her on her deathbed. Instead, she wants him to be able to cherish this happy moment as their goodbye so that this version of herself can live in his mind even after she’s gone. Thus, in the end, she asks the Neighbor to leave while she’s asleep so that their love story can have a bittersweet ending rather than a tragic one.
What Happens to Nikki After Molly’s Death? Do Noah and Her Get Back Together?
Even after Molly decides against dying with Neighbor by her side, it isn’t as if she’s completely alone in her dying days. In fact, she already chooses the person she wants with her in the end, at the very beginning of her diagnosis. She wishes to die beside her best friend, Nikki. The two women have a profound connection that maybe even supersedes any romance they can find in their lives. Molly knows she can rely on Nikki to see her for who she truly is instead of a patient or a romantic/sexual ideal. With her, she can be her true self, which is what she wants at the end of her days.
Likewise, Nikki is eager to hoard as much time with her best friend as she can manage. For her, taking care of Molly isn’t a burden but rather a privilege. If she’s going to lose the other woman, she wants to make sure she cherishes every moment with her that she can. For the same reason, she puts her career on hold when her acting gig threatens to overtake her schedule, leaving her little time to run around in hospitals. A similar thing happens to her relationship with Noah. Nikki loves her boyfriend dearly. However, in the wake of Molly’s diagnosis, she simply doesn’t have the power or the emotional bandwidth to keep him in her life.
As Molly is dying, Nikki wants her whole life to revolve around the other woman simply because once she’s gone, the latter will never get a chance to be with her again. However, this grates severely on her otherwise perfect relationship with Noah. He feels neglected and grows concerned over her putting her own life on hold to look after her friend. Nikki can’t possibly make Molly the center of her current universe, which makes it impossible for her to have a healthy relationship with Noah. Yet, this was always an unsustainable dynamic.
Nikki can fill her life with all she wants for Molly, but it would inevitably be taken away from her in a matter of weeks. This reality becomes even more imminent once Jerry runs his tests and discovers that the cancer has indeed spread out to his patient’s spine. As a result, Molly only has a few more weeks left to live, which would be spent in a hospice as her life slowly deteriorates into nothing. During this time, the woman’s mother, Gail, grows worried about her daughter leaving the world with unfinished business. She knows Molly would likely have no regrets or hangups about her, but she can tell that her friend’s fate will hang heavy over her conscience.
As such, in the end, Gail ends up meddling in Nikki’s life to bring Noah back into her orbit with a flimsy excuse. This compels Molly to express her own wish for the two to get back together so that her friend can have the happy ending she deserves with the man she truly loves. As it turns out, the woman doesn’t need to spring her dying wish for Noah to break up with his new girlfriend since he has already parted ways with her. Even though this doesn’t mean he’s ready to get back together with Nikki, it certainly opens up a door. Afterward, once Molly passes away, leaving Nikki heartbroken, the latter manages to put her life back together carefully. She returns to her passion for storytelling, taking on a more directorial role, and she even patches things up with Noah. Yet, although Nikki’s life goes on in Molly’s absence, she can’t help but remember her every now and then, with a bittersweet fondness.
Does Molly Fix Things With Her Mother?
One of the major issues that Molly unravels in the story remains her unresolved trauma from the assault she experienced when she was a child. When Molly was only 7 years old, Gail’s boyfriend drugged the mother and assaulted her daughter physically and psychologically. Gail was devastated in the aftermath, unable to do anything but blame herself. This pushed her down the road of addiction. As a result, Molly’s childhood quickly slipped away as she found herself in a position of consoling and comforting her mother, who was desperate to be absolved of her guilt. Consequently, their relationship suffered under the weight of the tragedy.
In her 40s, Molly learns to put the trauma of the assault in the back of her mind. She makes jokes about it and treats it flippantly because she’s unwilling to work through the scars it left behind. In fact, the incident is one of the reasons she had never been able to enjoy sex in her adult life. Once she begins considering the possibility of opening up enough to Neighbor to let him make her reach sexual satisfaction, it pushes her to confront her past in ways she never has before. Yet, it remains an elephant in the room for her and her mother.
However, in the end, when Molly finds herself in hospice care, the duo’s fraught past becomes a small part of the love and affection they hold for one another. The fact that Gail waits in the hospice lobby, desperate to be close to her daughter but willing to give her space if she needs it, showcases the unconditional love she holds for her. Similarly, as she’s on her deathbed, her daughter also realizes that she needs her mother by her side simply because she wants to die surrounded by the few people she loves. Ultimately, there are no big confrontations or emotional speeches, but the two still manage to work through their issues, reaching a point of understanding and peace.
Why Does Molly Go on Her Sex Quest? Does it Help Her?
Molly’s sex-centric quest remains a deeply nuanced part of her journey. Steve is adamant that her heightened libido is due to her medications. Nevertheless, be that as it may, it still ignited something undeniable in the woman. However, once she explores this side of her more, she realizes that she isn’t simply craving sex. Molly lived her whole life with unadventurous vanilla sex, which wasn’t enough to make her truly feel something. Therefore, now that she’s allowing herself to go after what she wants, she realizes she wants to venture into the world of kinky sex, whatever it may bring.
Right off the bat, Molly discovers a penchant for domination and a desire for others to submit sexually to her. She’s turned on by things like humiliation play, bondage, and other dynamics, which puts her in a place of control. Even though her desires surprise her at first, she eventually realizes she doesn’t need to psychoanalyze her kinks. As long as she indulges in these acts in a safe and consensual manner, she can simply enjoy herself and discover new facets of her sexuality. Inevitably, this road—paired with her terminal diagnosis—compels her to evaluate her past and her intimacy issues. However, more importantly, it allows her to unlock her true self with no holds barred. She doesn’t deny her the pleasure of feeling and emotion so that when she’s on her deathbed, she can leave her life knowing she lived it to the fullest.
Read More: Molly Kochan: What Happened to Dying for Sex Woman in Real Life?
