Saagar Kote
‘I Wish You Had Told Me’ or ‘Sana Sinabi Mo’ is a Filipino drama film that centers on a young missionary named Seph. He is in an emotionally vulnerable zone after the tragic passing of his father, Otep. As he tries to cope with his new reality, his world turns upside down when he finds out that his father kept a significant secret from him. With his grief taking a toll on him, he must also find out more about his dad’s past and his supposedly forbidden love with someone residing in Spain. To pay tribute to his late father and honor his memory, he travels from the Philippines to Spain in search of the mysterious individual. However, during his journey in the foreign country, he faces unexpected challenges that may decide his future. Directed by Shaira Advincula, the narrative explores the complexities of love, identity, secrecy, father-son relationships, and the intricacies of life. SPOILERS AHEAD.
I Wish You Had Told Me is a Layered Exploration of Identity and Freedom
‘I Wish You Had Told Me,’ written by the aforementioned director with co-writer Clarisse Grajo, is a fictional story that sheds light on social issues through the experiences of different characters. At the heart of the story is a secret held by Otep till the day of his passing. Due to the fear of harsh treatment from his local church, Otep hides the fact that he is gay. He develops an emotional bond with Rum, a Spanish man, and his pen pal, whom he has never met in person. His sexual identity remains repressed by his abusive father, who forces him to marry a girl instead. He spends time writing and receiving letters from Rum. Despite the geographical distance, the two men understand each other. This secret was only known to his friend Cecil, who always supported him. Despite the characters and the story being fictional, the social commentary around Otep’s experiences adds a layer of intrigue to the movie.
The narrative challenges social bias through its nuanced exploration of Otep’s character. The repression of sexual identity and the emotional cost of the same form the nucleus of the film. Amidst the chaos of his life, Otep deeply desires the freedom to follow his own wishes. He recognizes that society and his family will not accept his truth, which is why he wishes to travel to Spain in search of freedom. The complex intertwining of sexual identity and freedom is one of the significant ideas the story explores. Ultimately, ‘I Wish You Had Told Me,’ although a fictional tale with imagined characters, provides a grounded commentary on relevant social issues.
I Wish You Had Told Me Depicts the Intricacies of the Father-Son Relationship
The nuances of the father-son relationship are poignantly represented in ‘I Wish You Had Told Me’ through Otep and Seph. The primary storyline is the journey undertaken by the grieving son after he finds out that his father was gay. He travels all the way to Spain to find Rum, his father’s old Spanish pen pal, and gives him a letter. Seph’s experiences navigate the beauty, tragedy, and uniqueness of the father-son bond, which is sometimes haunted by secrets and hesitation. One of the themes explored in the film is the difficulty many men tend to face in expressing their emotions or showing vulnerability. It is a macro-perspective on how sons and fathers struggle to communicate. Although the narrative doesn’t morally judge the choices of both Seph and Otep, it does highlight the cost of holding onto secrets for a long time. Seph’s whole idea of his father temporarily changes when he learns about his sexual identity.
However, he is able to understand and appreciate the reasons behind his father’s lifelong secrecy. The sacrifices Otep makes to care for his son and run a family, while ignoring the desires of his own soul, make his relationship with Seph even more complex. Although the two characters are fictional, their experiences are extremely grounded, and don’t appear “cinematic” in flavor. The film also refrains from exploiting the vulnerabilities of the characters for the sake of entertainment. Instead, it humanizes their stories through heartwarming moments. In conclusion, ‘I Wish You Had Told Me’ is an imagined story that is deeply connected to the realities of individuals.
Read More: Is The Son of a Thousand Men Based on a True Story?
