Upamanyu Biswas
FX on Hulu’s ‘Dying for Sex‘ tells the story of a woman named Molly Kochan, who decides to spend her last days on Earth exploring her sexuality after she is diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. The show is inspired by the real-life experiences of Molly, who, following her cancer diagnosis, left her marriage with her longtime husband to find out more about herself in her remaining time. She and her best friend, Nikki Boyer, co-created the eponymous podcast to talk about her sexual escapades, personal growth, and her emotional journey as she came to terms with her stage IV cancer and how it compelled her to make changes in her life. While it delves into some fictional territory, the series captures the bulk of her final exploits and the extraordinary journey she went on as a result of her choices.
Molly Kochan’s Cancer Diagnosis Inspired a Journey of Personal Transformation
Molly Kochan was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011. At the time, she kept a close lid on her affairs and told very few people about what she was going through. Her battles with the disease continued on and off for a while until it metastasized into Stage IV breast cancer in 2015. The diagnosis came as a result of Molly experiencing more hip pain than usual, which was later revealed to be a result of the cancer spreading to her bones. She kept the information private for nearly two and a half years, even though she wrote about it anonymously, before announcing it publicly. During that time, she started undergoing hormone treatment for her disease, which was supposed to lower her sex drive. However, according to Boyer, it seemingly had the opposite effect as she started experiencing a greater sense of sexual desire.
Eventually, Molly left her husband of 15 years to indulge in her desire to experiment with other men. She revealed that she had fallen out of sync sexually with her husband, especially owing to her cancer diagnosis. “Sexually, we had difficulties before cancer came along. Right before I got diagnosed, I was kind of looking to recharge our sex life… and then cancer showed up,” she said in an episode of the ‘Dying for Sex’ podcast. In the aftermath of leaving the relationship, she began sleeping with a number of men (around 200), which kickstarted her sexual odyssey and a deep dive into her own life and the issues persisting around it. Her best friend, Nikki Boyer, took care of her and remained her close confidante during that period, ensuring that Molly felt and lived her life as actively as possible despite the negativity surrounding it.
Molly Kochan Shared Her Experiences in a Podcast and Blog
While Molly Kochan tried to keep her cancer diagnosis a secret for a while because of an aversion to being linked with the disease and seen as a “patient,” she eventually revealed the truth as it reduced the chances of having to field awkward reactions from others. “I liked going through treatment and not having people ever ask me how I was feeling as though I were more fragile than they are. We are all fragile…,” she wrote in her blog, Everything Leads to This. Later, she and Nikki Boyer decided to start a podcast to chronicle the former’s sexual trysts and her personal experiences battling with Stage IV breast cancer. The pair came across the idea during a lunch in 2018 when Boyer was intrigued after hearing about Molly’s latest sexual fling, especially considering the fact that she had just been on two dates during the morning.
Subsequently, Molly and Boyer sat down and recorded the podcast together, ‘Dying for Sex,’ which was released in 2020 as a six-part series. It serves as a documentation and exploration of Molly’s sexual escapades with countless men and what she learned throughout the process, including the challenges of her condition. In the podcast, she expressed how she felt alive and creative whenever she went on dates with other men. Although she may have been confronting an incurable illness, she found ways of feeling as normal as possible – part of which was examining the depths of her sexuality and how it opened up a new world of curiosities. The rest of her personal experiences, recollections, and thoughts are recorded in her memoir, which also came out in 2020.
Molly Kochan Continued to Thrive Until She Passed Away in 2019
After battling with cancer for eight years, Molly Kochan passed away in March 2019 at the age of 45. Her friend and lifelong supporter, Nikki Boyer, took care of her till the very end and still remembers her to this day through online posts where she shares the touching moments they shared together. Despite having to visit the hospital constantly during her cancer treatments, Boyer stated that Molly was full of life and vibrancy during these trips. She even had sexual encounters on her hospital bed near the end. As per Boyer, Molly wanted to feel as much like a normal person as possible even though she was stuck in a hospital room for several days sometimes. It brought a semblance of ordinariness and excitement in an otherwise dark period, which would have been the case for so many others.
Although she never got to witness the release of her podcast series, her experiences have helped bring awareness to the circumstances faced by individuals diagnosed with cancer around the world and how the idea of a “bucket list” can be a positive mindset when confronted by overwhelming odds. While Molly found her release through sexual adventures, she also found a way to “fall in love with herself,” which is part of the healing process.
Read More: Where is Hulu’s Dying for Sex Filmed?
