Kriti Mehrotra
As a documentary series delving deep into the way Dennis Rader led a double life until his truth came to light in 2005, Netflix’s ‘My Father, the BTK Killer’ is a truly insightful documentary. It shines a light upon how, on one hand, he was a family man, a Cub Scout leader, and the president of his church council, but a heinous killer who took at least 10 lives on the other hand. Therefore, of course, there is a significant focus on his crimes, his victims, and their surviving families in this original production, including on Shirley Ruth Vian Relford’s son, Steven “Steve” Relford.
Steven “Steve” Relford Was 6 When He Unwittingly Let the BTK Killer Into His Home
Born around the early 1970s to Shirley Ruth Vian Relford as her middle child, Steven “Steve” Relford was surrounded by love, care, and affection while growing up. He had an elder brother named Bud and a younger sister named Stephanie, with whom he loved spending time, indicating a close and tight-knit relationship. However, their entire world turned upside down on March 17, 1977, after an unwell Shirley sent 6-year-old Steve to go to the local grocery store for some chores. According to records, a man in a suit, holding a briefcase and claiming to be a detective, approached the young boy on the street. He allegedly asked for assistance in a fictitious case.
As per reports, trusting the stranger’s word, Steve led them to his house at 1311 South Hydraulic Avenue, where he suddenly shifted gears by pulling out a weapon from under his coat. The stranger allegedly initially tried to tie up 8-year-old Bud, but when that failed, he led the three kids into the bathroom and locked both its doors to ensure they couldn’t come outside. The kids struggled, but when Shirley reportedly asked them to stay at the stranger’s behest, they listened, that is, until they heard her struggling and saw moments of her being attacked through the door.
According to records, Bud, Steve, and Stephanie subsequently broke the bathroom window in an attempt to escape and call for help, but they were unable to climb out of it. However, they didn’t give up. In fact, when their house phone rang, they allegedly shouted that it was likely a call from someone who would be visiting shortly, driving him to flee the scene not long after. The 3 children reportedly managed to escape the bathroom after 40 minutes, but it was already too late – their mother had sadly been bound and strangled to death. When Steve saw Shirley, he tried to untie her hands, but when he couldn’t, he panically ran out to ask for help.
Steven “Steve” Relford Attended Every Court Hearing After the BTK Killer’s Arrest
Since Bud, Steve, and Stephanie were merely kids at the time of their mother’s murder, their family chose to keep them well away from the limelight in the hopes of avoiding further trauma. However, as per Steve’s own accounts, their childhood was taken from them on that fateful day as they were forced to experience grief, grow up, and understand that the world can be a cruel place. They did gradually come to learn that their mother’s assailant was suspected serial killer BTK, who actually coined his own moniker in reference to his modus operandi of “Bind, Torture, Kill.”
It thus wasn’t until the killer, identified as Dennis Rader, was arrested in 2005 that Steve chose to remain away from the limelight. He began speaking out on his mother’s case once matters seemed to be progressing, as he desperately wanted to ensure she received the justice she deserved. Therefore, when Dennis chose to plead guilty to 10 counts of murder before describing each crime in disturbing detail, Steve was both angry and relieved. The killer’s lack of remorse stood out to the then-34-year-old, who had decided to attend every hearing, but he was glad to receive at least some sort of closure.
Steven “Steve” Relford Has Faced His Fair Share of Legal Issues Over the Years
However, that fateful 1977 day continues to hang over Steve’s head like a dark cloud as he admittedly still blames himself for letting the killer into their home, even if it was unwittingly. According to his own accounts in an interview, he hasn’t been the same since then, adding that life has been “a mess” for not only him but also his siblings for the past few decades. As per reports, he reportedly got involved with the wrong crowd while growing up, which soon resulted in him getting involved with alcohol, drugs, and weapons.
In fact, Steve has seemingly been in and out of prison since the early 2000s, primarily for convictions on charges like possession, sale, or purchase of criminal weapons and possession of opiates, opium, narcotic drugs, or designated stimulants. His most recent conviction stemmed from a drug-related offense in 2018, but he was released from behind bars on August 7, 2025. Therefore, today, at the age of 54, Steve leads a quiet life in Sedgwick County, Kansas.
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