How to Have Sex Ending, Explained

‘How to Have Sex’ is a coming-of-age story that confronts the brutal reality of the way ambiguity around consent and sexual assault seems to be embedded in culture. The story revolves around Tara and her two friends, Em and Skye, who go on a celebratory trip after completing their high school GSCEs. As the teenagers jump into the wild nights of a Greecian party island, chasing one pleasure after another, Tara attempts to begin her foray into sex. However, a different, brutal reality catches up to her when she finds herself in a horrible, dubious situation. Thus, what should have been the time of her life soon becomes an inescapable nightmare. Due to the central narrative threads and themes of the tale, Tara’s story remains full of tense ambiguity. SPOILERS AHEAD!

How to Have Sex Plot Synopsis

Tara, Em, and Skye, three sixteen-year-old best friends, arrive on the Crete party island, Malia, with big plans of having the best summer of their lives. Between their hotel pool, the beach, and the city’s hedonistic nightlife, their days are bound to be filled with never-ending indulgence and fun. Tara, particularly, has big plans for the trip since she’s hoping to lose her virginity during the vacation. Therefore, she’s pleased when her cute next-door neighbor, Badger, develops an interest in her. Soon enough, the girls decide to hang out with Badger’s slightly older group, prepared to lie about their age by bumping it up to a few years. Thus, it isn’t long before Tara and Badger end up developing a connection.

However, when Badger volunteers at a club party for a game where a group of strangers interact with him intimately on the stage, it inevitably hurts Tara’s feelings. As a result, she ends up separating from her group for the night, inviting mild panic from her friends, especially Em, on the following morning. Yet, Badger appears to be weirdly concerned for the girl, eyeing his mate, Paddy, with suspicion. Eventually, Tara returns to the hotel. Even though she tries to put on a nonchalant demeanor, it remains evident that something is bothering her. As it turns out, the previous night, after she turned away from Badger, she ended up in Paddy’s orbit.

As the pair found themselves on the beach, Paddy attempted to talk Tara into going skinny dipping with him. As one thing led to another, he ended up having sex with her on the beach. In the aftermath, Tara felt wrong-footed enough to disappear with another older group of partying girls, returning to their hotel for the night. She’s obviously affected by the events of the night, especially when Paddy takes to ignoring her the next day. The next day, Tara remains unglued to her normal self. Her drinking takes a more melancholic turn; she grows tense around Paddy and even distant from Badger. Thus, the night’s events seemingly continue to haunt her.

How to Have Sex Ending: Were Things Consensual Between Tara and Paddy? Did He Assault Her?

Tara and Paddy’s dynamic remains complex from the beginning. Even though Paddy expresses some interest in the girl, he initially decides to keep his distance, likely due to her apparent flirtationship with his friend Badger. Nonetheless, that seems to quickly go out the window after their interaction at the Crush Club. At the time, Tara feels uniquely vulnerable after witnessing strangers throwing themselves at the boy she’s interested in. Since she’s still a virgin and only sixteen years old, she isn’t used to the apparent no-strings-attached nature of hook-up culture. Therefore, she’s naturally hurt to see Badger reveling in other women’s touch when he hasn’t so much as kissed her yet.

Additionally, Tara also harbors particular insecurities in her inexperience as the last person in her friend group who hasn’t had sex yet. On numerous occasions, Skye attempts to make fun of her, belittle her, or embarrass her in front of others by alluding to this inexperience. For the same reasons, once she ends up at the beach alone with Paddy—someone she doesn’t really know—it puts her in a vulnerable place. Nonetheless, the boy overlooks her discomfort even when she tries to deflect his attention. Consequently, he ends up cornering her into a sexual situation, only asking for her opinion once he already has her undressed and pinned under him.

At that point, even though Tara may want to say no, she isn’t in a position where she feels safe deflecting Paddy’s advances. A few terrifying flashbacks also reveal the boy’s strong grip over her wrists as he ignored obvious signs of her discomfort while engaging in sexual intercourse with her. The most chilling part arrives afterward when Tara notes how “strong” Paddy is when she reluctantly describes the experience to her friends. Paddys’ disregard for her feelings on the matter continues well into the aftermath when he overlooks her descent into a depression of sorts. In fact, he partakes in another more aggressive replay of the events in the hotel room when he tries to have sex with the girl again.

Initially, Tara deflects his advances by asserting that she’s sleeping. Yet, Paddy ignores this and forces himself on her once she has tipped into unconsciousness. Despite her protests, he only stops when others tumble into the room, interrupting their privacy. As such, no ambiguity remains behind Paddy’s actions. He takes advantage of vulnerable moments and patently ignores Tara’s lack of explicit consent or enthusiasm. To him, the girl is simply a means to an end, whose opinion on the nature of their sexual acts doesn’t actually matter so long as she’s quiet and pliant. Thus, Paddy assaults Tara numerous times, intentionally hiding behind the flimsy facade of plausible deniability.

Was Badger Aware of What Happened Between Paddy and Tara?

While there is little real ambiguity behind Paddy’s mistreatment of Tara, his friend Badger seems to fly under the radar to some extent. The teenage girl remains quiet about the reality of what happened between her and Paddy and lies to her friends about the consensual nature of their relationship. In the immediate aftermath, it’s difficult for her to fully internalize and accept the truth about what has happened to her. For the same reason, she’s unable to admit it to others, especially because of the fear of whether others will sympathize with her situation or not. Within the context of the vacation, she knows Paddy will benefit from an argument that can be made about perceived blurred lines.

Nevertheless, the change in Badger’s behavior around Tara makes it clear that there isn’t any actual obscurity behind Paddy’s actions. From the get-go, Badger seems suspicious of Paddy and concerned about Tara once she spends the night away from the hotel. It almost feels like he has already predicted what has transpired between the pair, with the understanding that his friend is an aggressor in the situation. He’s gentler around Tara and refrains from his earlier flirty behavior. Yet, he seems to harbor enough pity for the girl to make it clear he isn’t simply feeling betrayed or jealous about her apparent relationship with Paddy.

Eventually, Badger tries to talk to Tara about Paddy, subtly alluding to his unpleasant behavior. Nonetheless, instead of confronting the root of the issue, condemning his friend, and comforting the young girl, Badger goes on to explain his friendship with the other boy. He wants Tara to know that he’s only friends with Paddy because of the close relationship between their mothers and the fact that they’ve been neighbors their whole lives. He attempts to distance himself from the other boy to ensure that Tara doesn’t draw conclusions about him from his friend’s actions. It’s almost as if he’s trying to wash his hands clean to ensure he remains the “nice guy” in the narrative.

The fact that Badger feels compelled to do this without actually witnessing Paddy’s abuse makes it clear that he knows his friend well enough to know he would force himself on other people. It’s even more likely that the latter has done this before without any consequences from anyone, least of all his friends. Yet, by letting Paddy’s behavior go unchecked and unchallenged, Badger is inherently complicit in his abuse. Instead of stopping his friend or bringing attention to his actions, he turns a blind eye and continues to offer up his friendship and support to an abuser. For the same reason, regardless of Badger’s niceties, he doesn’t truly care enough about Tara to help in any substantial and unselfish way.

Is Skye Really Tara’s Friend?

Although Paddy is entirely and solely responsible for his actions, there are a few outside elements that fuel the reality of the situation. For instance, Badger’s continued silence and intentional ignorance of his friend’s actions allow him to feel safe and comfortable enough to force himself on others. Similarly, it can be argued that Skye’s behavior around Tara built an environment that didn’t allow the latter to feel comfortable in expressing the reality of her assault. From trying to push her friend toward Paddy to making her feel bad about her virginity constantly, Skye remains passive-aggressive toward Tara from the beginning.

Furthermore, in the aftermath of Paddy’s assault—both times—Skye fails to perceive the tense reality of his dynamic with Tara and pushes the narrative that her friend is interested in the boy. In contrast, Em picks up on the signs and is repeatedly concerned for Tara. Nonetheless, Skye, who seems to be in perpetual competition with the latter, can’t look past her bitter feelings long enough to actually notice anything else. A part of this likely stems from the context around her own upbringing in an environment that advocates for female rivalry. Nonetheless, it remains evident that Skye has never been much of a friend to Tara.

This becomes even more evident as the film nears its conclusion, following the girls on their journey back home. During this time, Skye tries to parse out the details of her first-ever sexual relationship, oblivious to her apparent discomfort. In turn, Em notices Tara’s reluctance and hesitation, allowing her the space to admit the reality of her encounters with Paddy. Even though Tara’s words are halted and non-descriptive, she gets to confide in Em, who promises to be a supporting friend by her side. In the end, with the help of this support, she has the ability to remain hopeful that she will one day put this horrid experience behind her as she embarks toward her future.